Third Time's a Charm

ttac_2007 @ 2008-07-13T23:03:00

2008-07-14T03:06:46Z

A wedding picture

2008-06-24T02:13:35Z

This is one of my favorites. :)

A meme

2008-06-24T01:19:39Z

Stolen from lisa_e_is_me

1. First Name:

Lori.

A few years ago a black friend of mine told me it was one of the whitest names she could think of. That struck me as odd because when I was in 1st grade, there were two of us. One white, one black. I've never really been a big fan of the name. It's not really nicknamable and it's certainly not a classically beautiful name.

2. Age:

34, but I still feel like I'm waiting for my life to begin.

3. Location:

Duluth, Georgia now. I moved in January after Chris and I got married. Before, when I was living in McDonough as a single mom, I was middle class. Now, living in Duluth, I'm lower class even though we have more income and a more expensive house. I'm not sure which is worse.

4. Occupation:

I am a full-time college student. I should be graduating in December with a major in accounting and a minor in finance.

5. Partner:

That would be Chris. We've been married since the end of December and I'd say we're out of the honeymoon stage. That sounds like it's a bad thing, but it's really not. We just have a really great relationship where we can talk about anything. He's the yang to my yin.

6. Kids:

Abby, aged 8. We are still trying to determine if that's it or if we will have another child. It definitely won't be until the end of 2009, at the earliest.

7. Brothers/Sisters:

I'm the oldest of three. My sister is three years younger and my brother is six years younger. I used to be much closer to my brother, but not so much any more.

8. Pets:

Just one little mutt dog. Tess is part chihuahua, part rat terrier. If you think this would be a terrible mix, you would be absolutely wrong. She is black and weighs about 10 lbs and is the sweetest little dog ever. She is very smart and pretty submissive.

9. List the 3-5 biggest things going on in your life:

Chris and I are finally taking our honeymoon at the end of July/beginning of August. We are going to Italy - Rome, Florence, Venice, and Naples. We'll be there for 11 days.

I should be graduating in December, 19 years after starting the 1st time and 5 years after starting the most recent time. (Notice, I didn't say last. Could grad school be in my future???)

Then there will be a job search, followed shortly thereafter by a car search and a new house search. Not necessarily in that order. Well, the job search is definitely first.

10. Where and for what did you go to school?:

I graduated from Stockbridge High School in 1992. I was ranked 5th in my class and the highest girl. (Yes, we were very competitive and Yes, I could have done better if I had ever applied myself.) By my senior year, I was so burned out on bullshit bureaucracy that I probably should have taken a year off. Instead, I went to a college that felt the same as high school. It was a small, private college located in north Atlanta and it was not the right scene for me, so I quit. I finally went back to college in January 2004.

11. Parents?

My parents met the first time when they were 17. My dad's roommate was dating my mom's sister and they went on a few double dates. Then they didn't see each other for a while. They starting dating again about a year later and dated for two years until they got married at the age of 20. Babies! They are still married after 37 years.

12. Who are some of your closest friends?

I tend to be a loner, so I'd say Chris. Outside of that, I have some "friends," but its hard for me to keep up if we aren't in daily contact.

Bobby Yang

2008-06-23T13:44:39Z

Chris and I went to Eddie's Attic on Friday night to see Bobby Yang. He plays classic rock on his violin! Now, I may be partial because I used to play the violin (and will again one day when I finally graduate), but this guy is a musical genius. Check him out. And if he's ever in your area, go see him live. The tickets were very reasonable.

Hit and run:

2008-02-06T19:57:54Z

A few stupid things that I need to get out that don't really warrant a full entry:

The machines at school list drinks at $1.35. If you put in exact change, it will indeed disburse chilled, liquid refreshment for the stated price, but if you don't put in exact change, it will charge you $1.45. Every.stinking.time.

Evidently the sun in Duluth is brighter than the rest of the world because people walk around inside restaurants and stores with sunglasses on all.the.time.

I'll be glad when this election cycle is over so that bloggers/journalists that I normally <i>love</i> to read can go back to normal and make me stop questioning their sanity.

ttac_2007 @ 2008-02-05T21:40:00

2008-02-06T03:16:19Z

In an earlier post, I alluded to my dysfunctional extended family. Things just keep getting worse and worse.

When my grandfather died in 1998, my grandmother didn't have enough income to support herself and she hadn't driven a car in over thirty years. Her nearest relative was my Mom, about thirty miles away (and 45 minutes because it was back roads the entire way). We had always been very close to my grandparents, due to the fact that we had lived next door to them for twelve years. When my grandmother was in a position of deciding where to live, it was automatically assumed that she would live with my parents, so she moved in. My parents do not have a large house, but they did have a large living room that they emptied so that it could accomodate a bedroom suit, entertainment center, and recliner. Occasionally, my grandmother would take a trip to Florida to visit her oldest daughter, sometimes even staying with her for three weeks. Sometimes, she would even get to spend a weekend with her second daughter, who lived about ten miles away. But the bulk of time, she was the responsibility of my Mom: doctor's appointments, grocery shopping (outside of what was provided by my parents), hair appointments, everything. Even though my Mom works a full time job, while her sisters do not.

For this, my grandmother insisted on paying $300 per month (which is a fair deal since I estimate her income to be approximately $700 per month).

Fast forward to December 2006. Second daughter's husband has been laid off from his job and she is still recovering (quite nicely) from a mastectomy and chemotherapy (to which my Mom provided most of her transportation). All of a sudden grandma, who has always been a bit spiteful, seems constantly agitated and spoiling for a fight. I had been in their house on many occasions and watched these little exchanges between my grandma and my mom or my grandma and my dad. I have seen them come home from work, just looking to unwind, to be goaded into an argument. I have watched the look of satisfaction on her face when she finally made them snap back at her. So I was only mildly surprised to see how far she would actually take it. Once, she accidently (I believe) locked my Dad out of the house and he complained about it. Then she purposefully did it again and all hell broke loose. He said that he would not tolerate being locked out of his own home and that if he had to remove the locks from the doors to ensure that it wouldn't happen again, that's what he would do. To which she responded by calling him a "son-of-a-bitching-heathen" and said she was moving out. A huge scene ensued with my grandmother unleashing every invective she could think of.

In recent months, my mother's sisters have not only accused my Mom of cheating my grandma out of money, they actually had the nerve to say that my Mom was guilty of elderly abuse. This completely crushed my Mom because, through all the years, she has always been the one who was responsible for making sure that her parents had what she needed.

Fast forward to January 2008, and second daughter sends an email to my Mom asking for some relief because she can't do it all on her own. (Translation: I've gotten all the money I need, get rid of the inconvenience.) To which my Mom responded by sending an email to oldest sister and uninvolved brother asking if one of them can help her out. This started a hell storm which ended up with uninvolved son not responding and oldest daughter saying that she couldn't because everytime grandma comes to Florida she gets sick. Oldest sister then castigated my Mom for not being able to forgive, stating "At least when I die, I'll know I did all I could for Momma."

Second daughter got pissed off and called oldest daughter to come get grandma or else she would deposit grandma back in my parent's garage, which is where she got her from originally.

Meanwhile, second daughter is refusing to turn over the insurance policy on which she had the beneficiary changed to herself, and grandma's checking account only has $94, supposedly wiped out by second daughter. Evidently grandma has found a new permanent home in Florida, but she has no money and all of her things are still in second daughter's house because she was pushed out so quickly.

Due to my Mom's hurt feelings, she has managed so far to stay out of it, but I know how responsible she feels and she will try to make this right. I'm just not sure that her mental health can take it.

If anyone has suffered abuse, it has been my Mom. And it's been at the hands of her self-serving sisters.

So . . .

2008-01-31T03:51:22Z

This is my new home. I decided I needed a new home because there are things I'd like to write about that I don't want to have to filter because someone else is reading. And the complicated friend's filters just stressed me out entirely too much. So, there will definitely be some friends filtering going on, but it shouldn't be as big of a deal.

So, Chris and I got married at the end of December. It was an absolutely, lovely ceremony . That I really could have done without. (See why I moved?) It was very important to him to have a wedding, so I did it for him, but it mostly just filled me with dread. My dysfunctional extended family took the event as a good reason to argue and several people just decided not to show up at all. Which was perfectly fine by me. Chris's friends and family came from far and wide to attend the event and I was reminded how much of their golden child he really is. Everyone adores Chris, rightfully so. And his friends are the type that are really there for you in a pinch, and they proved it over and over again in making the wedding a success.

After the wedding, we started on the task of moving me from McDonough to Duluth and I quit my job to go to school full-time. To say that it's been stressful would be an understatement. It has been hard for me to find a balance between the things I should be doing as a wife/mother and the things I need to do as a student. This juggling act is actually harder than doing the single mom, part-time student, full-time employee thing. But it's only been a few weeks so I'm still hoping to catch my stride.

Obviously Abby had to transfer schools with the move and she seems to be faring pretty well. Her teacher is very young and very eager. The school system itself just seems better. One of the benefits of Abby not having a working mom is that we pick her up from school everyday. In Henry County, she was in the afterschool program because I worked and I didn't normally pick her up until about 5:15 every day. Now, either Chris or I pick her up everyday at 3pm. I think having a shorter school day really has made the transition easier for her. I guess I'll find out for sure in a couple of weeks in our parent/teacher conference.

More later . . .

I moved

2008-01-28T14:44:34Z

Mostly because I got tired of sensoring myself. Because sensoring myself actually just led to me not writing at all. And whether or not it's worth reading, it is worth writing. :-0

More later . . . I've got too much to accomplish today and too little time to accomplish it.